Confessions of A Wine Snob

WineFirst I want to acknowledge that this site is all about beer, I know, I write the damn thing. But listen, sometimes you have to mix it up and have some wine, or whiskey, or a nice shot of tequila.  This little ditty is about wine, the good stuff.

This is going to shock those who know know I am not a beer snob at all, but I prefer my wine from a bottle.  Of course I don’t give a shit if it is $40 or $12 bucks, if I like it, I like it.  I just am not a fan of the box.  Does that make me snooty or shallow, yep.  Do I care, kind of, but not a lot.  But I do feel less badly because the reason has nothing to do with taste, or nose, or bouquet or the tannin,  it is just cool to have some wine bottles around.

If you were expecting some wine review I recommend google.  This is so much more practical.  I am going to tell you from my point of view 5 reasons that you should always buy wine in a bottle.

  • Chicks totally dig it.  I have an amazing friend who likes to have a bad ass day drink with me now and again.  She comes over to the flat an I whip out a box of wine she is totally bummed out.  You got the little cheese platter and bottle of wine, you may get lucky.  A box, not so much.
  • Corks.  These little shits make up an entire section of Pinterest.  You can, apparently, make a house out of them, glue a few together and you have trivet or wall art, or an ottoman.  Frankly, I have not found a use, but they are cool to have in a bucket just in case.  I take that back, I have used them to level an aquarium so yeah, fish dig ’em too.
  • It tastes better.  Like Spinal Tap’s amps that go to eleven, it is just a thing you cannot explain (because it isn’t real, but that is besides the point).  When that glug glug sound of wine dumping into the 40 ounce glass you start to salivate a little.  No glug from a box.
  • A bottle of wine can be used to fend off an attack.  Let’s say a Yeti pops in.  You have a box, you be dead, Yeti style.  You have a bottle, the Yeti goes, “hey this guy is all right, look at the wine rack, it totally goes with the little kitten purring on the love seat, I think I will just chill and have some of this cheese”.  No, not all attacks have end in violence, you savages.  I don’t need any comments about Yeti’s being mythical and indigenous to India or Nepal, I know my creatures and it could happen.
  • Lastly, chicks totally dig it.  Here is a quote from said chick, “I totally dig it”.

So there you have it.  A slight departure from beer, and the nature of this site, but dammit let a fella live!

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